"...But I Don't Want to Ask St. Anthony To Help Me!"

"Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me."  Psalm 1:15

"We do not adore, worship, or pray to the saints in heaven."  PCUSA Book of Confession, Second Helvetic Confession 5.025

"Please St. Anthony, TELL GOD I NEED MY KEYS!"  George Carlin

I lost my keys the other day...and I was truly stuck!

I was at the church office, and I was about to leave.  I had worked hard and it was time to go home.  But I could not find my keys.  I looked everywhere for them, including going outside to see if I had dropped them there (which was impossible...or else, how did I get into the office?).  I was growing desperate.  I finally phoned my son and asked him if he could come and get me.  I had a second set of keys at home (20 miles away), but it was the best I could do.

At this point, my old Catholic training started to creep in, and I wondered if I should pray to St. Anthony.

Any Catholic raised before the 1960's knew all about St. Anthony.  He was the saint you prayed to if you lost something.  And when you did, you were also supposed to say the little prayer that is listed in the picture above.  And sometimes it worked!

Or it seemed to...

Today, to my Presbyterian way of thinking, perhaps faith is a better way of doing things.  I agree with the great reformers - we don't need anyone to intercede on our behalf.  We can pray directly to Jesus himself and he will hear our prayers.  As for finding those lost things, perhaps in that little prayer, we calmed ourselves a little and were able to see more clearly.

And yes, I did find my keys before my son left his house to come and rescue me.  They were stuck in a drawer's lock that can sometimes be a little tricky; I was jiggling the key when the phone rang, and I forgot about them.

I just needed to calm down a little and see them.

I also asked Jesus for help.

And I giggled occasionally when I remembered my favorite comedian, George Carlin, saying, "Please St. Anthony TELL GOD I NEED MY KEYS!"

Amen!

My Favorite Theologian

"For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also." James 2:26

When I was almost ready to become an ordained minister in the Presbyterian Church (USA), I had to endure the final step: examination!  During this time, a panel of pastors and elders quizzed me on every conceivable question that a good candidate for ministry should be able to answer.  I was quite nervous and (probably) spoke too fast and too much.

One question stands out from that process: "Who is your favorite theologian and why?"

My answer, said with a relaxed smile, "Dietrich Bonhoeffer."

I went on to explain that Bonhoeffer believed that without good works, faith was "cheap."  It was still faith, it was still worthy, but it was hollow or cheap.  I completely agree with Dr. Bonhoeffer.

During Bonhoeffer's life, he became involved in many things in Germany that would ultimately bring him to death at the hand of Hitler and his Nazi thugs.  Bonhoeffer had spoken out clearly and forcefully against Hitler early in his rise to power, and Bonhoeffer's life was in danger for many years.  He managed to escape to America in the later part of World War II, but he also returned to do what he could to help his country.  

When he arrived, he was promptly arrested and jailed.

Two weeks before the end of the war, Bonhoeffer was hanged in a concentration camp where he spent his final days.

Reading his various statements and books reinforces that Bonhoeffer's ideas are clear, easy-to-understand (despite his reputation of preaching WAY over his congregation's heads), and believable.  They also have the added emphasis of reminding me that Bonhoeffer died for what he did and believed.  Few modern theologians have met a similar fate.

I don't want to die for what I believe in, but if I do - I have Bonhoeffer's example to show me how to do it.

Amen!

70 X 7

Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?”  Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times." (Matthew 18: 21-22)

Long ago, before I arrived at my current and first call, this church suffered a terrible schism.  I doubt that there has ever been a GOOD schism, but this one was particularly bad.

Our church was one of the first to split over the proposal to ordain gay people as church officers.  The pastor at that time - and many in the church - strongly disagreed with this, and began to make plans to leave our denomination.  Much was said, done, written, and ultimately forgotten.  And more than ten years later, our church survives with good ministry and faithful people,  But it is at least 1/5 the size that it used to be before the schism.

In the years since I've been here, I have held people as they grieved, cried, and shouted about what happened.  I tried to meet the pastor who was involved in the original problems - which did not work out for either of us.  I ignored snide remarks from other pastors in this immediate area and instead reached out to others who became my sisters and brothers in faith.  I also ignored so-called well-meaning remarks from people in my own presbytery who told me to my face that I had NO business coming to this church for my first call.

It's been quite a load to carry.  I am tired.  I think I'll put it down.

When it comes to dealing with the old hurts from the schism, I am claiming the Scripture verse above from this time forward and forever.

When it comes to helping this church move forward and begin to try some brand new ideas, I am claiming the Scripture again because sometimes I think the past holds us back.

When it comes to helping other churches who experience similar things to ours, I will show them the value and the strength and especially the peace of mind in claiming the Scripture above.

Carrying a grudge is exhausting.

I think I'll put it down.

I have other things I'd rather carry!

Amen!

Irony Always Makes Me Laugh

It came about at noon, that Elijah mocked them and said, "Call out with a loud voice, for he is a god; either he is occupied or gone aside, or is on a journey, or perhaps he is asleep and needs to be awakened."  1st Kings 18:27

Remember that you are dust and to dust you shall return.  Genesis 3:19b

Irony always makes me laugh.  This is true whether it is cleverly revealed in a story, in a show, and especially when it happens in real life.

Irony is often a little tricky to clearly define and explain to young writers, but once they have it, they will begin seeing it all around them.

I enjoy irony...and I even enjoy when it occurs at my own expense.

Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the season of Lent.  This is a time when all of us should be reflecting on our behavior, our habits, our faith, and how we can do a little better in our walk of faith.  Living our faith is extremely important to me, even though I am often guilty of not practicing what I preach.

But today it made me laugh!

Here is what happened: I was standing in line at a store waiting to make my snack purchase.  I noticed that a family of Muslims was standing right behind me.  Two of the children were very small and adorable.  I was facing toward the register when I suddenly heard a loud FLOP right behind me and felt something very cold on my pants legs.  I turned around and saw that one of the little girls had dropped her vanilla shake, which exploded all over the floor and all over my nice, black pants.

Now let's see...how could this scene have progressed from here?

1.  I could have turned around and given a big SIGH and then made my way to the paper napkins to clean off my pants.
2.  I could have given the little kids my old "teacher look" which would have frozen them in their spots.
3.  I could have muttered something nasty about little kids - or worse, little Muslims kids! - and I could have used the usual racist garbage that we all hear so much of today.
4.  I could have ignored the obviously embarrassed father who was running to get the napkins to help me clean up.  I could have acted pious and cool...and stuffy.

Instead, I just said, "Whoops!" to the little girl and assured her and her mother with a big smile that it was okay.  When I met the father at the napkin dispenser, he began apologizing profusely, but I just smiled again and told him it was okay.  Then I showed him how easily it came off my pants and shoes.

Finally, when I went back to the counter, everyone seemed to melt out of my way.  I just ordered my stuff, paid for it, and left.  I made sure no one thought it was any big deal from my point of view.

In my car, I began to laugh when I realized how many times in my life I might have reacted with one of the options I listed above.  I have done and said some pretty stupid things in my life, but I try to live what I believe.  That means trying my best, even when it is a little tricky, even when I'm tired or cranky or in a hurry - or embarrassed...

Especially when it's Ash Wednesday, aren't we all supposed to be thinking about how to make ourselves a little better?

Amen!