Five Weeks, 12 Pounds, and the Grace of God

I have been sick with some sort of stomach/intestinal ailment since Labor Day; today is October 6th.  In all, I have lost 12 pounds and at least two suit sizes.

I am SO TIRED OF CRACKERS, SOUP, AND DIET SPRITE.  I am also tired of going to the doctor's office (four times so far and counting!).  I am tired of medical tests, blood tests, pharmacies, extra pills, and quick visits to the nearest bathrooms.

I won't go into any details.  You get the picture.

Through it all, I have attempted - often in vain - to do my job as the pastor for the church.  You just can't do this job in 20 hours per week.  I have often failed miserably during the week, sometimes going bravely and hopefully to the office before 9AM - only to head home by 1:00 where I spend the rest of the day in bed hoping the next day will be better.

My old cat is delighted!  But I am not.

My grandson - who is not quite two years old - cannot figure out what is up with me. One minute I am playing with him, chasing him around the yard or around the house, reading to him or watching movies of him on my phone, and the next minute I am in bed calling for anyone to come and get him so I can be in misery alone.

It is a rotten time, and I am tired of it.

But I have discovered something unusual...for some reason, Sunday mornings work pretty well for me.  I have led worship each and every Sunday during this time, and I have thoroughly enjoyed them all.  My sermons have been well-received and the prayers are well-done by any and all who participate in them.  During the services, I am not thinking of how I feel; instead, I am thinking of what is next, or I am worshiping Him, or I am praying for someone, or I am singing.  But I am not thinking of myself.

When the Apostle Paul asked God to take a "thorn from his side" and he asked God to do so three times, the Lord replied, "My grace is sufficient."

Perhaps I am have been praying for the wrong thing.  Perhaps asking for the Lord's grace is what I have needed to do.  Because it is sufficient...I know that.

But my grandson doesn't know it yet.

And neither does the cat.